Regardless

by Afternoon

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1.
Reindeer 02:01
Our neighbours made us This wooden reindeer I don't just mean they cut the wood I mean they grew the tree You counted up the rings Eleven years It's the same amount that you've known me It's a long time And it's not such a long time I talk to Robert and I count it Nearly one year gone I talked Sarah she says 'Is it weird I'm so proud of you both' I talk to you You say 'life is long' I talk to Laura she says 'Well yeah, we hope so' It's a long time And it's not such a long time
2.
hey , it’s me Knock knock knockin’ on my knees I had a bad dream And it made me want to scream One little piece Knock knock knockin’ on my knees I’ve got an office job I don’t think it’s noble to starve It’s just that there’s one little piece Of my soul that no one else can have One little piece Knock knock knockin’ on my knees
3.
About You 01:57
We build a den today We watched that video you sent We always talk about you I tell him all about you We wrote again today Well I wrote every answer that he gave I get on with what I have to but Of course I think about you You are my business You are mine I can't solve this sadness Please know your sadnesses are mine Please know You are my business I do mind I can't solve this sadness But know your sadnesses are mine Just like you
4.
35 02:19
I am not what I thought What a thing to realise At the age of 35 It is good to criticise Things that you like Some of the time I am walking with you On my shoulders past the lake Feel you slowly fall asleep
5.
Sunzilla 00:56
6.
Blackberries stain your fingers I'm dreaming I play you that 'Suddenly smile, you took me by surprise' one It is 2am and I am waking up thinking You're waiting, you're waiting Ask me what it was like then All I'm thinking Is how words became something far away 'It was like deep sea diving' I say 'Yes, it's like deep sea diving' you say My family send their best And I send a baby photo and a saffron crocus Can you believe they grow like this? Let me know what you make of it today And the next, and the next day
7.
14 01:23
When i was 14 The night felt like another place Endless forest Campfire light Ideas and feelings Completely self contained The only way to leave Is to fall asleep Then one night I saw the other side of it Like crossing the Atlantic For the first time And realising That the world continues Rolling on, on itself Follows day, follows night, follows…
8.
Terribly 01:22
Meet you at the river You get in quickly You always get in quicker than me As our fingers start to freeze You say you just can't seem to feel it And I wonder what it is that means I seem to feel it all terribly I said I'll grow my hair long Til it feels like things are better I ran home, begged him to cut it off please I said I'll keep on swimming Through the river, through the winter I just said it, didn't know how it would feel But now it seems to settle me Joked that I was tough Oh god I'm so soft And I feel it terribly
9.
Since 2020 03:06
It’s not easy. Sometimes the feelings get delayed or sometimes they seem far away when every moment’s death defying. We make the best and try to know where we are for real and not just in ideas. Can’t stop laughing, can’t stop crying. I can’t complain, I could not ask for more. Realised a lot of things I had stubbornly held onto Had disappeared. Since 2020, everything changed. Lost at night without a phone, listening to the radio, looking out at the moon. Service station in the dark, holding you in the carpark. We are in transit and this is where it all makes sense. Maybe it’s better to be honest with yourself.
10.
Sink 01:24
Sink straight down I thought I knew I know better now Treating the river like solid ground Let myself fall like I thought I'd bounce I sink straight down I know better now Hold myself Apparently breakable object You wrote to tell me Sweetheart just pace yourself You know that it took quite a while To get this far down So please Take your time getting better now
11.
You never saw me so unsure I never thought that I'd never doubt it now But I never doubt it now I never doubt it Slowly and surely coming for me How could I be, love, without you now How could I be without you now Use me up Come wear me out How could I be, love, without you now Where would I be without you now We use it up Or wear it out Or make it do Or do without it now How could I be without you now
12.
13.
Yes it’s me Just one more thing So much is lost But we never stop Kicking and screaming But not really Walking around in our dreams Every day The lesson’s erased So i never learn I never build It was survival I don’t feel grateful What will i tell him The baby is dancing The unfinished knitting A song bird is diving Lungs smoke in the dawn light The roads are dissolving What are you afraid of? The green river water The rain on the windshield I can’t fit it all in A version of things But slightly more bitter The baby is dancing My belly is laughing
14.
Laserbeam 01:44
He doesn't normally do that You cut through like a laser beam I never know how you do that Did I tell you what it means To see you hold him, my heart aching The pieces of our lives reintegrating I told you didn't I I missed you I missed you I missed you
15.
Driving south, Watching the light change Violet hills Life on the landscape Bodies of water Names of the rivers Driving home and making dinner Feeding you I’m in the roof On the tran We’re in between It never ends Is never still It can’t slow down It never will But never mind We are alive For the shortest time/there’ so much left We want to try I’ll give you points For getting up I’ll give you points For lying down I’m only kidding The points are worthless I will be your friend regardless O’ how I promise you
16.
I've been dreaming Trying to summon up the feeling Of being in your house Being in your car Being on your bike With your key around my neck On the bike bought by your friends Cos they saw you loved it so Take photo by the door Tape it to my kitchen wall Did I tell you that miss you I've been dreaming
17.
Condensation On the window in the morning And i cannot seem to rise From my bed where i lay terrified And recounting all the ways i’ve failed To do what i thought was right To do anything but disappoint myself I’ll stay in bed for the rest of my life Today i can swim The river is alive You’re just one pair of the world’s eyes Wondering what it is you’re for Not expecting an answer Build a massive beautiful thing Far away and hard to see Take a step there every day Also give yourself a break Today i can swim

credits

released August 23, 2022

Recorded May–July 2022 by Henry Ireland and Anna Knowles

Melodica, ocean drum and tamborine on Sunzilla and Never Doubt it Now by James and Robin

Photos by Anna and Henry

Paintings by Robin and Walter

Voice recordings by Anna and Frances

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Afternoon England, UK

Afternoon (of East Anglia) is a pen-pal songwriting and recording project between Anna Knowles and Henry Ireland.

đź“· Rhiannon Parkinson

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